Writing - Who Knew?

Seriously, who knew the experience of actually writing a book would be like this?
Like what, you ask?
Hard
Difficult
Frustrating
Yep, that's how it's been for me in many ways.  
I tend to be hard on myself.
I tend to think the worst of myself.
I tend to think I can't do this.
And you know what I've learned?
I'M the only one holding me back.
Yep, it's true.
It's me.
It's not you.  It's not her.  It's not him.
It's me.
We all have issues we deal with.  And we all have our ways of coping, or not coping, with them.
I was bullied in school and twenty plus years later am realizing how much of it still affects me and my relationships to this day.
Wow
Do I still talk to those boys who bullied me?  
No
Do they still mock me today?
No
So why am I letting them hold me back?
Why do I assume that everyone else will feel the same way they did?
It sucks and it's stopping
NOW
So, what are the joys in writing?
The fact that I'm actually doing it now
That I'm not allowing my demons to get in my way anymore
That I'm going to prove to myself I can do it
I have a few stories that won't leave me alone
I'm finally writing the one that speaks to me the most
It's coming along nicely and I'm really excited about it
Of course I'll have my moments of pure doubt
and some freak outs
But that's life
I'm not going to allow the past to haunt me and my life anymore
I'm better than that
xoxo