Thursday, September 6, 2012

Writing - Who Knew?

Seriously, who knew the experience of actually writing a book would be like this?

Like what, you ask?




Yep, that's how it's been for me in many ways.  

I tend to be hard on myself.

I tend to think the worst of myself.

I tend to think I can't do this.

And you know what I've learned?

I'M the only one holding me back.

Yep, it's true.

It's me.

It's not you.  It's not her.  It's not him.

It's me.

We all have issues we deal with.  And we all have our ways of coping, or not coping, with them.

I was bullied in school and twenty plus years later am realizing how much of it still affects me and my relationships to this day.


Do I still talk to those boys who bullied me?  


Do they still mock me today?


So why am I letting them hold me back?

Why do I assume that everyone else will feel the same way they did?

It sucks and it's stopping


So, what are the joys in writing?

The fact that I'm actually doing it now

That I'm not allowing my demons to get in my way anymore

That I'm going to prove to myself I can do it

I have a few stories that won't leave me alone

I'm finally writing the one that speaks to me the most

It's coming along nicely and I'm really excited about it

Of course I'll have my moments of pure doubt

and some freak outs

But that's life

I'm not going to allow the past to haunt me and my life anymore

I'm better than that



1 comment:

  1. I LOVE this, Laura! I think we are a lot alike in this. Everyone but me believed in me for so long, and I was afraid to try, because I feared the demons from my past (and my own uncertainty) would be right. But you know what? I'm happy I was wrong about myself, and I'm happy you realized that you DO have the power to follow your dreams. I hope you found this realization as liberating as I did!

    I believe in you, too. :-) You're a very strong writer. Even on the freak-out days, don't give up. My hubby calls those emo-author days. I have them, too hahahaha!

    Lizzy :-)